I've had these thoughts running through my mind these last couple days and I'm trying to figure out how they mesh together, and I probably should wait to Blog about it until I have it figured out, but that'll never happen. You know what my life is like. I can't even go to the bathroom in peace, much less finish a thought. But, I figured I'd share anyways, because if there's one thing about this Blog that is true.... it runs the gamut - from Greek Yogurt to my thoughts about the Bible. And sometimes one right after another. Anyhow, in church our pastor has been preaching on the Patriarchs - you know, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Since I'm not in the nursery with the girls anymore, they're now quite used to our nursery staff, and I can be in church during the sermon I've enjoyed hearing what Pastor P has to say. We're on Jacob now, and quite honestly, the man was a mess. And I don't mean that flippantly. He had absolutely no integrity, his sons were quite violent (read Genesis ch. 34), he was blatant in the favoritism he showed among his family members and I just can't quite figure out why on earth God chose him and called him Israel. As I delve into this and really think about this I realize.... the Bible only gives us a snapshot of this man. There's relatively little about who he really was and if you think about it.... what was he like on a daily basis. Really, what kind of person was he? Jacob has always bothered me and as we are studying him, he's bothering me even more. But, what bothers me about him is the kind of person he is and things he does. It's his character that bothers me. OK, so there's that.
Then there's this. This is from today's lesson in "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers.
"Paul was not overly interested in his own character. And as long as our eyes are focused on our own personal holiness, we will never even get close to the full reality of redemption. Christian workers fail because they place their desire for their own holiness above their desire to know God. “Don’t ask me to be confronted with the strong reality of redemption on behalf of the filth of human life surrounding me today; what I want is anything God can do for me to make me more desirable in my own eyes.” To talk that way is a sign that the reality of the gospel of God has not begun to touch me. There is no reckless abandon to God in that. God cannot deliver me while my interest is merely in my own character."
And then, today in Bible class we were reading about Abraham and God's covenant with Abraham. And how the Bible said:
Genesis 15:6 And he believed the LORD, and he counted it to him as righteousness.
And so I'm wondering and thinking and chewing on the idea that the relationship with God is what's important. And that's what the Bible focuses on in the stories of the Patriarchs in Genesis. God's Covenant relationship with these men. I know, on the surface that's like a "duh!", but when you really think about it.... how does that work? How does that flesh out in my life? I'm so concerned with being a good mom, a good wife, a good friend, a good daughter, a good daughter-in-law, a good pet owner and my prayers center around the things that I do rather than my own relationship with God. My own issues of really trusting God. Really trusting God. With those inner soft spots of my life. And it's not that I don't think what we do doesn't matter to God. I think it does. But, there's also a lot more than that. And that's what I'm trying to figure out.
Cultivating Godly Emotions
2 days ago